Category: The Childbearing Journey

A Simple Approach To Better Communication

This week I did a group session about changing relationships before and after a baby is born. Inevitably, the discussion turned to communication, and how it feels when one or more people in a family feel misunderstood or sidelined.

When a new baby arrives into a family group, everyone enters into a new learning cycle, where questions about role, identity, and belonging may arise. In addition to this, normal sleep patterns and opportunities for rest, relaxation, and alone time shift around, and getting used to new ways of doing things, and different priorities, can leave you feeling disorientated and tired.

This disorientation is a natural part of learning. Beginning is easy, ending is sweet, but the messy middle requires you to realign yourself in all kinds of interesting ways, and to have new insights about your life. So much of what we do is composed of messy middles of one sort or another!

At a time where big changes are occurring, it is only natural that people should get a bit wrapped up in their shifting world. Perhaps too, there is social pressure to keep it together, to have the answers, to be proactive, and to suck it up, and we can get in a bit of a panic when we feel swept along and out of control.

Getting wrapped up in our thoughts about how we are doing, where we are up to, what we want to achieve, and how our lives should look focusses our attention on our internal world. That means, that we are less able to focus outwards and be open to new ideas, the perspectives of others, and cannot obtain a clear view of our situation. If we want to reach out to other people, then it is much better to do this from a place of relative clarity and openness.

The good news is that it is really easy to spot when we or other people are feeling open, relaxed, and ready to truly listen and collaborate. You only need to observe basic body language to see where other family members are at-

Good mood= open and relaxed body language, clear eyes, sparkle, easy smile, easy eye contact

Bad/preoccupied mood= defensive and closed off body language, glazed expression, lack of  eye contact, or aggressive eye contact, furrowed brow, strained features

Even before any speaking happens, we can see if it is a time when conversing will flow with ease, or we need to tread carefully, or when we need to back off and come back later.

The other bit of good news is that because it is only natural that people get down in the dumps or confused, then there is absolutely no need to take their moods and whims personally. When problems in communication occur it is because people are innocently bogged down in whatever is going through their minds at that moment, not because we are distancing ourselves on purpose.

We live in separate realities, so sometimes it is difficult to see through our own perspective, and get a glimpse into what is real for the other person. However, when we do, we can connect in profound ways with one another, and family members of all ages, shapes, and sizes!

I made a video with some examples. I hope you enjoy it!

Please do come and share your own experiences of relationships and transitions in the Mamajestic Facebook Group, or indeed to share any related blogs or videos you come across in your travels.

Do go ahead and share this post if you found it spoke to you! I love it when posts get shared about. It helps other people to find the site.

Take care and lots of love,

Alexis xxx

IMG_0032

Advertisements

Small Acts Of Genuine Desire

Here Comes The Sun, Hello Spring

Spring is in the air, the season of fertility and new growth. Can you feel it breathing its breezes and butterflies around you?

I hear the church bells ringing, and an image pops into my head: I am looking at a tree in our hillside garden. A stream of water is flowing from its base, making the twists and turns of tree root shapes. It tumbles down the verge, and over the side of the terrace. Life is waking up. It is everywhere.

Time to wake up! What growth do you want to see? What would please you most right now?

Observe the springy glow on our homeside hillside!

In previous weeks, the prospect of Spring had me ready to crawl back into bed. Of course, the commencement of this fertile season meant I should make all kinds of stuff happen. After all, the world has turned round a sufficient amount that I no longer see my breath in the air. That must mean it is time to purge my mind, body, home, and life of the extraneous.

Then I remembered that these things are all made up and resolved to languish in a duvet nest until further notice. Then a child jumped on my head.

Well, that didn’t take long.

Bit by bit, I did get the urge to consider what my authentic desires for growth might be. So I gave it a whirl.

It is not always easy to figure out what you really, truly want. Often, the moment you stop and try to focus on your desires, what comes out is a list of things you would like to get done, or to have done already. For instance…

Me: So, Alexis what would please you right now?

Me: Well, let’s see….Time to declutter the house. Time to try and sell baby gear that we no longer need. Time to create better systems for organising life. Time to lose weight. Time to smarten up. Time to look for new projects and new income. Time to study. Time to really spend some quality one to one time with my husband and the kids. 

Me: Nope. That is just a list of things you think you should do. Tell me, what do you really want in this exact moment?

Me: Hmmm. 

Now, I find myself doing this from time to time, and it ends with two results: a longer list of things to do; a feeling of dissatisfaction with the way things are. Not a fabulous energising result, then.

The Problem-Solution Pattern

Back when I studied text and narrative at the University of Glasgow, we learned about typical discourse patterns that exist in our literature, and our thinking. These patterns are structures for the way we assign meaning in our communications. Michael Hoey identified a number of these prevalent in English texts, and noted that there are different kinds of pattern popular in different societies. The presence of a common discourse pattern reflects a predilection for a particular kind of reasoning about the world.

I notice that the problem-solution story is very prevalent in our society. We just love to analyse, measure, assess, solve, and evaluate. So, it makes sense that you get sucked into a problem-solution mindset on a regular basis. Perhaps this is where the proactive, goal setting, to do list fetish comes from, which is such a common approach to the stuff of daily life in our society.

For instance, you can take just about any sensible personal desire and turn it into a bewildering series of actions to be taken. Here are a few examples:

Desire: I would love to sleep more….

  • Problem: BUT my baby wakes up at night
  • Solution: I could use gentle sleep training, less gentle sleep training, feed the kids soporific foods, create elaborate bedtime routines, pray for change, pick up and put down, get husband to take over, run away, hire a sleep trainer,
  • Action: Meh, I guess I am pretty much OK with this
  • Evaluation: You are not trying hard enough, go back and do a bunch of techniques until you get a result no matter what.

Ooh this is fun. Let’s do another one.

Desire: I would love to make beautiful nourishing food for my children…

  • Problem: BUT my child only wants to eat bananas and breakfast cereal, not a wide range of healthy foods from kale to kefir to kumquats
  • Solution: Ban all forms of breakfast cereal, involve him in shopping for, cooking, and growing food, read books about children eating healthy food, watch TV shows featuring healthy food, buy healthier cereal, always have bananas, delegate all responsibility to husband, run away
  • Action: who wants a bowl of wholegrain alfalfa crunchies? OK fine. Weetabix it is, and a banana. Super
  • Evaluation: When this goes wrong it will be all your fault (ouch)

It works with things like appearance too!

Desire: I would love to be fit, (somewhat) lithe, and strong…

  • Problem: BUT my stomach is too big, I feel unattractive, and I am getting OOOLLLLDDDDEEERR wah!
  • Solution: Get up early and do yoga routine, followed by core abs, run, run, run, and stop time. Ok, well buy lots of lotions and potions that promise to do that very thing. Buy new clothes. Combine exercise and housework. Get the kids to ride off at speed on their bikes and chase them. Then have sex. Then have a makeover, and a bath, and a pedicure, and a manicure, and don’t forget to pluck your eyebrows, epilate your legs, and wax your nether regions.
  • Action: bit of yoga, bit of running after kids, bit of falling for empty product promises, bit of sex.
  • Evaluation: You could still lose a few pounds, you know. Plus, you are even older than when you started.

And cleaning.

Desire: I would love to live in simplicity and order…

  • Problem: BUT my house has things in it that I wish were somewhere else
  • Solution: Simplify, declutter, buy better storage, reorganise, teach the children to tidy and organise until they are full self-cleaning minions of orderliness, get husband to build beautiful storage solutions, buy more plastic boxes, chuck out everything, whether it belongs to me or not, pass on old things to new owners, alphebatise, colour code, and above all, stop the everyone from messing it all up again.
  • Action: throw some stuff out, tidy a room, feel proud. Watch as it gets messy almost straight away.
  • Evaluation: well, that didn’t last long. Hide under bed. Find a lot of dustballs.

It is truly a marvel to see how fast a wish for sleep, to nourish others, to tend to your health and sexiness, to create orderliness can turn into a problem. Incredible too, how many solutions there are to choose from, of which many require outlaying time, money, and energy that are not available at that moment, and often do not have the promised or predicted effect anyway.

When my mind and body are asking to have their needs attended to, and I feel depleted,  this is what seems to pop up out of the cosmos: the definition of problems and projected solutions. I am sure that, this is one reason why the world sometimes feels so busy. Our problems may have solutions, but often the relentless pursuit of resolution, wholeness, and happiness can take us further from well-being.

In fact, we are surrounded by advertisements which inform us about the problems we barely considered we had! From the point of view of putting energy in the bank, giving attention to these constructions can sap our dwindling reserves, just when we want a little boost.

Not that there is anything wrong with genuine problem solving. It is unnecessary problem creation I am on the look out for.

Uncovering Authentic Desires

I am going to go out on a limb and say that this is not the stuff of genuine desire. I am going to go beyond that and say that much of what is written about bettering your parenting, body, home, and work, is meant with the best of intentions, and useful to some, sometimes, in some situations. However, all too often, what we get from our society, which prizes the rational, the productive, and the effective, has not got a lot to offer in terms of identifying and nurturing healthy everyday desires. What we seem to have instead are objectives, passions, and goals. Not to mention that we are encouraged to go big or go home. Do it on a large scale, or it isn’t really worth it, it won’t be going anywhere!

This means that, rather than living in deep appreciation for the many wonderful opportunities, material goods, and cosmic gifts that we already receive on a daily basis, we get caught up in what might be, who we might become, what we might do tomorrow or next year. These thought balls get lobbed around our collective unconscious and insinuate themselves. Then we get so worn out figuring with all these pesky mental globules, that appreciating anything seems too much of a stretch. Then we say, I am tired, and you know there is never enough time just to be, just to look after myself. I don’t even know who I am or what I want right now.

Thinking Outside The Box

For me, the question of desire has to come back to a level of understanding that does not come from out there in society, not from the habits and fetishes that are prized at present, not from received wisdom in any form.

Genuine desire is personal, quirky, and does not fit into a problem and solution pattern. Figuring out what you really, absolutely need comes from an intelligence within you, which does not have to correspond to identifying a lack, then taking a range of actions to address the situation in an efficient manner. We are not cars to be serviced by mechanics, we are complex organisms with spirits, with whims, we are animals with instincts, and we are beings who might benefit from many varieties of interaction, stimulation, and growth in all kinds of non-standard forms and patterns.

When it comes to taking action you desire, then whatever it is can be an end in itself. It can be small, minuscule choices, or grand designs. There is no size and shape requirement. No measurements, analysis, no specifications. There do not need to be elaborate plans, as the satisfaction of a desire in the moment can be a spontaneous meshing of opportunity and fancy.

This is self care. It is not self-assessment. It is not self-judgement. It is pure attention to your own joyfulness, for its own sake. It is honouring your own wellbeing in the moment.

Down The Rabbit Hole

As I became accustomed to observing my thoughts and the forms that travelled through my mind on a daily basis, I became aware of just how many of them there are. Also, not all of them make conventional sense. I got interested in the seeming random stuff that entered my skull, and that DID serve me. I found that I was helping myself, without knowing how or why or where a particular notion or image would turn up. For instance, I had a vision of me swimming in a pool, being supported by a giant turtle, which reassured me when I was in labour with my youngest. Why not pay a little attention to these images, colours, textures, and feelings? What were they saying?…

…I am talking a little attention here, not analysis or deep interpretation, not directing or getting bound up in thought, just drifting into a dream…

I continued the conversation with myself thus…

Me: Hello there, quiet corners of my conscious self, what would you like more of in our life?

It’s cool if it doesn’t make sense or appears well thought out because I get that you are coming from the heart. I know you don’t do lists and goals and such. A seeming random abstract notion would be fine…

Me: RED.

Me: Red?

Me: RED: YES. RED. 

Me: Well, I could change my blog to red right now. I can adorn myself with these nice, red, clothes. Ooh I like it. Yes that does feel nice. 

Me: MUSIC.

Me: OK. I could put some music on….Satie? too sad. OK. Rocky Horror it is….

Me: (holds up image of rather mystical looking woman in manner of ancient fantasy land character) 

Me: I’m a sweet transvestite…..Sorry, I was distracted by the awesomeness. What have you got there….I am not sure this is a career move…. 

Well, let’s see. Oh she’s WISE.

Me: (image of Kevin Smith as Silent Bob rolling eyes in assent)

Me: She has time for what she does and needs to do, because she is centred in a reality where life is not expected to run twenty times faster than it actually does,

She does not believe she has to be everything to everyone all the time, 

She can nurture herself and others

She does not try to do, be, and become too many things, and feeling not enough,

She is fierce and strong,

She is not perfect, and does not need to be,

She takes nourishment for herself,

She can work charms and mystical awesomeness,

Sounds good.  I want to cultivate greater understanding, compassion, physical health and wisdom to my life!

I wonder if I could give myself permission to explore this.

I could!

Excellent. 

**********************************

Some Concluding-ish Thoughts On The Practice Of Desire Fulfillment

I made a little video…

Now, the thing to remember is that desires are not meant to be turned into checklists. Turning desires into ‘have-tos’ zaps all their power to energise, clarify, and assist us in our lives. Moulding a desire into a need for productivity and rushing through it all does this too. Desires are suggestions regarding what I might enjoy.

Self care in the form of fulfilling small desires does not always have to wait until the children are in bed or at school, does not depend on your partner’s schedule, does not depend on you being at work or at home, or the recommendations of experts. Self-care in the form of attending to our desires is available in many moments if we simply ask ourselves what would be pleasing, in and of itself, in the time and space I am inhabiting at this very moment.

At the end of the day, happiness does not come from creating a perfect set of circumstances, or performing a particular set of behaviours. It comes from within, where there is nothing in particular getting in the way of it. For this reason, it is best not to put too much thought into the question of what you want to create or not. Neither to think too much about thoughts. The point is to allow yourself awareness of small desires, and permission to fulfill wishes just because you can, and not because it is improving, transformative, productive, or with a set agenda. Though, you may find that listening to yourself and your needs may well pay greater dividends in time.
By listening to small desires, I can look past habitual behaviours and make choices which are better for me, or see what I can be grateful for already. I have more fun, more lightness. The feeling that I get to live in, when I am more attentive to what I have genuine need of, is so much more rewarding than the feeling of checking an item off a list (oooh baby and you KNOW that does feel good, doesn’t it!).

The feeling of, a small genuine desire fulfilled is a little charge of energy which keeps me company as I set about my business. It helps to put me in touch with where my feet next need to land, and what to give attention to. What’s more is that giving to myself leads to having more energy to share with others, and to care for my family.

I usually leave my posts with an invitation, but today I challenge you to look at what is hanging out quietly in the wacky and abstract world of your consciousness and see what it suggests for you!

Have fun exploring your desires and do come share your experiences with me by posting a comment here or on the Mamajestic Facebook Group.

What kinds of conversations do you have with yourself? What would you like to ask your heart? Do you now think I am a crazy lady?

Let me know!

IMG_1306

 

The Special Ingredient In Your Engagement With the World

pool

Last week I attended an online masterclass by Jamie Smart, author of the best-selling book ‘Clarity‘ and hosted by Emma McDevitt, founder and director of The Coaching Exchange.

Among many other handy nuggets of wisdom, I brought away the answer to a question that had been niggling in the back of my mind. A question that I could not quite articulate, let alone answer, until the missing piece of the puzzle popped up, courtesy of Jamie and Emma.

I had a big insight about GROUNDING. To be specific, how it relates to engagement and connection with everything in our experience that is not us. Also, I saw how engagement in the process of carrying, birthing, and raising children is connected to our grounding at a particular moment. As soon as that fell into place, I had a series of realisations which I hope will be useful to you too.

I have written a two part series of posts all about grounding. Part One is all about what grounding is, how it shows up in our lives, and some working examples of grounding in practice. Part Two: How Grounding Works From Birth To Adulthood, is about different degrees of grounding we experience in different areas of life, and how nature and nurture are involved in the process.

So read on to hear all about it!

Mysterious Pools of Consciousness

Several years ago, I read Alison Gopnik’s Philosophical Baby (you may have heard me mention it a few times now), in which she describes the difference between how adults and young children experience their Consciousness, or rather, their ability to be aware of their thoughts. Gopnik used the term ‘a stream of consciousness’ to describe adult awareness and ‘pools of consciousness’ to describe that of children. The main idea is that adults have a more or less continuous internal commentary going on, while small kids have not yet acquired these inner voices. So, adults talk to themselves in their mind, while little ones simply do not think in that way yet.

You hear pre-schoolers chattering away in their games, and this is what eventually becomes our inner voice, along with other internalised chunks of language, like those helpful instructions your parents use a lot (i.e. Slow down. It’s not a race. Use a plate.). Before this process occurs, children are aware of going into one activity to the next, with no interim chatter. They just get into something and drop farther and deeper into it, until something occurs that draws them out again. I found this idea quite arresting, but could not put my finger on why this phrase should reverberate in my head as it did. A. Pool. Of. Consciousness.

In my mind, I had a vivid memory of watching our children playing at the beach, completely engrossed in their sand and buckets, as if nothing existed except the grains running through their fingers or heaped onto their spades. That is what it is like to be in a pool of consciousness. It feels pretty damn good too. It is a state of complete peace and total engagement with the world.

beach.jpg

My question was ‘what draws people into a Pool of Consciousness?’

What Lies Beneath Deep Engagement In Life

We have all been children, and all known this ‘pool of consciousness’ type engagement with the world. It is as if whatever we are in contact with becomes an extension of ourselves. For a moment, we lose our separateness, and we become the object or person or motion that we are engaged with. The writer and their laptop, the surfer and the waves, the driver and the car, the child and the handfuls of sand, are all bound together by this glorious, liberated feeling, where we are one with our surroundings, with what we are doing. We are not ourselves, and we are more than ourselves, and we are without the worries and fears that otherwise might trip us up.

All in all, it is pretty awesome.

Grounding is the path on which we usher in this experience of engagement (and flow and vitality, oh yes and love and happiness).

There is a quiet, yet probing feeling. It is more than being in the present. It is a deep grounding in the actual real world ‘out there’, as opposed to being deluded by the narrative of our inner voice. Grown ups get wrapped up in the voice’s projections of how reality is, was, or should be, while little ones do not. This is because the chief purpose of childhood is to learn and grow, while adults are responsible for sorting out the practicalities which allow them to do this. It makes sense for grown ups to know things, categorise stuff, and build up complex mental maps of reality. Our inner voice is really handy for this.

What we often forget to do in the demanding modern world, is to keep the lightest hold on what we ‘know’. The voice ceases to be a tool and becomes our master. This is dangerous, because the voice only has a limited grasp of what is actually real and what appears real. In looking only towards what we already think we know, we lose connection with ‘out there’ because it is always changing.

When we allow ourselves space for engagement, we allow ourselves to explore what is ‘out there’ in a more playful manner. We can feedback new information to ourselves, and incorporate this learning into our perceptions. It is like an automatic update system for the mind. For this system to function well, we must be able to look in another direction than into our existing personal thinking about life, the universe, and everything. This means that we can  look away from any anxieties and preoccupations which are scuppering our connection to objective reality, and see the objects of our attention anew.

Grounding is the extent to which you are able to see that world ‘out there’ for what it actually is, rather than as a projection of what is going on ‘in here’.

This is true clarity. It is feeling alive in the most powerful way. So, it is worth taking time to understand it.

I love this quote from Don Deacy, a former client of Jamie Smart’s:

“Grounding is balance. An ease of movement and interaction with the world. From grounding comes our ability to flow, to extend our senses, to ride the waves, to take the knocks and keep our equilibrium.”

Putting Grounding To Use

Deep ‘Pool of Consciousness’ type grounding is felt in those magic instances where your learning and insight come together in such a way that you feel guided, at ease, and confident, and know just what the next step you need to take will be. You feel at one with whatever you are engaging with. The right study at the right time enhances this raw material, and the potential for outstanding results. For the person diving down, the doing of the thing itself offers immense pleasure, regardless of outcome, and is borne forward by a sense of wonder and rightness. An example of this is the way Mozart’s natural talent and flair for composition allowed him to take all he learned about music and apply it to dazzling effect.

When I watch my children, wading in their pools of consciousness, there is such deep concentration available in those quieter minds of theirs, so much less self-obsession and insecurity. Though they are conscious, they are unselfconscious. Though they already know much about themselves and the world, they can let that go on a whim, and embrace a whole new understanding of who they are. The same goes for the way they view what is going on around them with non-judgement, and get involved in it with abandon.

Sure, it’s not as if children never have tantrums or get annoyed when grand expectations are derailed, just as grown ups do. However, they also mess around a lot more with who they are and what is real, and experiment with their realities to see what feels good. They are not obeying some pre-decided Order of All Things, which cannot be changed, or electing to create an ongoing thought-storm around a particular area of their existence.

So, for example, my daughter, aged six, digs around for ‘treasure’ and finds shiny pebbles, bits of foil, and bottle tops. She is engaged in her thought, but she is also in  touch with reality, completely engaged with what is. It sounds paradoxical, but for her, she IS finding treasure. No one is going to tell her that treasure is actually only gold coins and diamonds, so her paper treasures do not count.

My girl knows that her finds are not precious jewels, but all the same, she allows her bits and bobs to be treasure, and does not judge or compare them to objects of greater monetary value. There is no lie in the game she is creating. The game is not about values. It is not even about her, but is an experimentation with story, with earth, with tangible objects, with exactly what is to hand in that moment. The pleasure is in the finding, not a question of what is found and how it can be audited.

The real difference between children and adults is not that adults are not so imaginative or playful, but that we don’t realise, or do not remember, how much we make up. Kids understand they are the players. Adults forget this, because they get concerned about what the game should be about, or who is winning or losing, or how to play a better game. Before you know it, you think you are at the mercy of the game you invented, all because you forgot that it was you who created it.

Grounding and The Childbearing Journey

Now, time to bring all this around to the topic of having babies and parenting:

To show how grounding can make a real difference in experiences of Childbearing, I want to explore how we make use of various labels for labour contractions and parenting ‘types’.

There are various ways to view the phenomena of contractions and a number of labels we might apply, like ‘rushes’, or ‘sensations’, or ‘tightenings’, or the more traditional word: ‘pains’. The contractions themselves are simply the tightening and relaxing of the uterine muscles. The meaning and label given to this process by the labouring woman has a huge influence on how they are experienced.

If you are pregnant, heading into labour, and you know contractions as ‘pains’ AND you are quite certain that pain is unpleasant or scary, you will get an experience of pain which is unpleasant or scary. There is no room for play or negotiation. If you have the slightest glimpse that contractions could be sensations or rushes or tightenings, you can see even a tiny possibility that they might not be so scary, then the door is open for the experience to be something other than painful and scary. You suddenly have more options to experience these contractions in other ways.

Contractions can be the strumming of a bass, the intro to the song of your baby’s arrival. They can be exhilarating, and you can welcome and ride contractions, or tightening sensations, or rushes. This is not something you do with your intellect. You have to know that contractions are a rhythm of sensation, in the same way that my little girl knows her playthings are treasure. They are bass beats. They are good, pulsing, waves of feeling that you do not need to be afraid of. Babies being born have their grounding to help them, and you have yours to help you. I promise you that this is so.

To take another example, consider the many labels that can get thrown at parents:

There is the Helicopter parent, in constant vigilance; the Neglectful parent who is too into her phone to pay attention; the Gentle parent who is baby-wearing and co-sleeping; the Incompetent Parent, who cannot be trusted; the Slacker parent, who can’t be arsed to get dressed; the Tiger parent, who locks her kid on a balcony for refusing to do their piano practice; the Perfect parent, who is always kind, clean, with nutritious snacks and educational activities to hand. None of these stereotypes are actually real, they are caricatures that we use to connect kinds of parenting behaviour with individuals we encounter, including ourselves.

endoftether
Alexis was experiencing a lack of grounding.

When faced with human behaviour, our grounding points us towards what is real, and away from these stereotypical constructions which can be so demoralising, damaging. If we are grounded, we are aware that labels and people are not the same thing. This means that uncharitable assignations cannot derail us in our efforts to build relationships with others, and to treat ourselves with care.

When we are coming from a place of deep grounding, then we are able to see that we are NOT a label, we are a person who is worthy of love, respect, and belonging, and the same goes for everyone else. In order to express love and kindness for those we care for, we have to extend this compassion to ourselves and other parents. Going deeper in our grounding is the most efficient way to develop a fulfilling engagement with everything and everyone in our lives, to enjoy ourselves, and to enjoy our SELF. It affords us a look at the sunny day of reality instead of gazing into a cloud of inner chatter.

Grounding reminds us, that we too are treasures, to be cherished and enjoyed.

Grounding Is Your Silent Supporter

When it comes to becoming a parent, for the first or a multiple of times, then grounding is something you can rely on through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. After all, even though it may not always appear to be the case, creating, birthing, and nurturing our young is a natural process. Even if you feel like giving up and running off to some kind of island for beleaguered souls, the more you know that you can breathe and be kind to yourself when the window is foggy, the less you will worry about difficult emotions. Look at the fantastic capabilities of your body and mind, with which you make brand new life. Take a look around you and really see that you AND your children have deep grounding from which to grow.

It is human and normal to have clouded judgement regarding what is real from time to  time, perhaps even often. It is also the case that your grounding can support you, even as you learn to dive deeper, more loving, and more daring than ever. Perhaps through this process you may also revisit the simple absorption and pleasure of a pool of consciousness, in the midst of that ordinary, everyday stream. Grounding is the key to deep engagement with the world ‘out there’ and with all our experiences have to offer us.

So hurray for grounding! Plus, I am so pleased to have worked out what was niggling me about pools of consciousness. Thank you Jamie and Emma for unsticking me!

Do come back and check out Part Two: How Grounding Works From Birth To Adulthood

If you want to learn more about getting grounded, then I highly recommend reading either of Jamie’s books: Clarity and The Little Book of Clarity. Find out all about him and his work here.

You can connect with Emma, and join a vibrant community of coaches, at The Coaching Exchange

What is your experience of grounding?

Did you find this post helpful? If so, feel free to share it around.

Come and try out one of my services to deepen your grounding in pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, or mothering.

I would love to hear what you think about grounding! So, do come and share your thoughts in the Mamajestic Facebook Group or leave me a comment below.

It is always awesome to connect with you all ‘out there’. Sending you good wishes!

Lots of love,

Alexis

xxx

IMG_1308